See me through

What is it really that sparks an interest in us for another person? Is it their looks? Their voice? Their interests? Could it be their clothes? Or their body language? Maybe it's their humour? Granted, it could also be a combination of many things but what is it really that activates the mechanism inside our bodies that gives us that tickling feeling in our stomach everytime we think of that particular person?
How is it that when you are in love with somebody, you fail to see his or her faults? Is our mind really so naive and narrow that it can become overclouded with love?

I probably sound like an old broken record but could it also be that we simply long for somebody to love that we tell ourselves that we like the person more than we really do and hence, we refuse to see the negative sides? I am guilty of this. Guilty of being so in love that my common sense has been clouded, that I refused to see any faults and even though I was repeatedly being "told" there would be no way him and I could be together, my mind still insisted on being in love. Was this just a result of wanting somebody to love combined with telling myself that I've gotten gay vibes from him and didn't want to accept a "no" as an answer because my brain had decided that it was possible for us to be together, if only he'd admit it to himself? Shouldn't the mind be quite turned off when it's being told off by the one it's interested in? It is the complete opposite of what it wants to hear and it is the call that it needs to stop pumping all those acids or electrons or whatever it is to the stomach that results in the knots and tickles. But yet, sometimes it just won't give up.

So there has to be either something really, really unique about some people or we are really just desperate for someone to hold and love. I don't think that the unique thing really can be so easily described as "he looks good" or "she has great humour" - what about subtle and unnoticeable signals that are only picked up by our subconsciousness? Scents that we emit but that only our subconsciousness can smell? I'm not saying the looks or humour or whatever you want to hit me with ain't PART of the reason why you fell in love, but I think there has to be something more to it. I know there are a couple of flaws to this theory because it's possible to find interest in someone over the internet (but I doubt it could ever be deep, real love until you met each other). But then, could it be that the person reminds of somebody you've previously liked in terms of writing style and perhaps looks? Your mind remembers that once you really liked a person and this new person reminds of him/her, so you expect that they'll be just what you want.

I've come to this conclusion because all three recent interests of mine have written smilies without spaces after a word (a small thing to the naked eye perhaps but here comes the subconsciousness again), sort of like this:P, if you understand?:D The first one of these that I found interest in was the one I was in love with for almost 1,5 years - Jonathan - and I knew him in real life too. Then I found Johan and he wrote in the same way. Their styles were actually very similar to each other. The third one? Same. Even their slang is the same.

I believe this is the subconscious speaking. The mind thinks that just because these other people write like Jonathan and look as good as Jonathan, it tricks itself into thinking that the person behind the screen will be just like him, too, and hence you get a crush on him or her because maybe this time, you'll have a chance.

I have also gotten comments that I seem to think that guys who look young with long and "cute" eyelashes look good. All three of these had these traits, including a fourth one who I just found to look very good. The eyelashes thing is nothing I had ever thought about until someone pointed it out to me.

I think that I will, in my subconsciousness (yeah, yeah I sound really cool using that word but there aren't many synonyms to use), draw comparisons to the original, big love (Jonathan) and will be drawn to people of similar traits to him and the evidence is already here. I used to find it a bit childish and annoying when people wrote smilies without spaces but now it seems I love it because Jonathan used to do it and I had a crush on him.

Worth thinking about. Next time you feel attracted to a person, draw comparisons, even the smallest of details, to the previous one (if it was a big crush/love) and you'll probably see a couple of similarities! ;-)