Merry Christmas everybody! I hope you got what you wanted and that you had a nice time with friends or family, had lots of food and sweets too, I betcha! I did! And when I worked out today, did BODYCOMBAT 34 for myself down in the gym, I thought everything was coming back up again... It was horrible. I decided to skip the conditioning track because of it. :P Haha! I am a very fit person but man, was that horrible... :D
Wednesday 26 December 2007
Merry-go-round
Choices. Why do choices exist?
I don't know what I should do. I have thought about this and talked some more to Emelie about it (thanks again, honey pot <3) and I think I have to do something about it now. Like talk about it, to him. Tell him what I feel and man, it's so hard. I thought I was gonna cry when it sank into me that I really have to tell him. I'm about to cry now. God damn it! He is next to perfect so why does it have to be like this? He's loving, he's nice, he's cozy. But other than having a loving personality, there isn't much we have in common. He's like the complete opposite of me and I don't think I am able to suck it up.
The biggest issue I have is alcohol consumption - I've never been a fan of alcohol and I can accept if people like to drink, but if I am to be together with somebody I wouldn't like it if he went out every weekend and drank until he couldn't walk straight. Once or twice a month would be totally OK for me (I mean, for my partner), at a moderate amount of booze everytime. Not the teenyboppish "drink 'til you drop"-style. I have a really hard time accepting this, and I know it pisses many people off, friends included, and they think I am being silly, but I had a tough childhood that has led me onto this path and I can't help it. It is a big issue because many people like to drink so I am severely limited in my options.
Another issue that really shows how opposite we are in our life styles is that I love to workout and he mainly likes to just slack and having excess amounts of junk food. It means that lots of fat is gained and other unhealthy conditions have a big chance of striking. I just wouldn't be able to live with somebody who never ever workout and by workout I mean being active at least once a week for minimum one hour - I don't care what it is, be it jogging, skipping, BODYCOMBAT, BODYPUMP, weight training, a sport, treadmill, dancing or whatever! It's just how I am...
He has chosen his life style, I have chosen mine. We all have different goals, demands, priorities, whatnot in life. You just have to find someone with similar goals and style. Believe me, I don't want to leave him because he is so sweet and loving and it hurts me so much that the situation is like it is. Here comes the tears again...
Fuck life!!
I don't know what I should do. I have thought about this and talked some more to Emelie about it (thanks again, honey pot <3) and I think I have to do something about it now. Like talk about it, to him. Tell him what I feel and man, it's so hard. I thought I was gonna cry when it sank into me that I really have to tell him. I'm about to cry now. God damn it! He is next to perfect so why does it have to be like this? He's loving, he's nice, he's cozy. But other than having a loving personality, there isn't much we have in common. He's like the complete opposite of me and I don't think I am able to suck it up.
The biggest issue I have is alcohol consumption - I've never been a fan of alcohol and I can accept if people like to drink, but if I am to be together with somebody I wouldn't like it if he went out every weekend and drank until he couldn't walk straight. Once or twice a month would be totally OK for me (I mean, for my partner), at a moderate amount of booze everytime. Not the teenyboppish "drink 'til you drop"-style. I have a really hard time accepting this, and I know it pisses many people off, friends included, and they think I am being silly, but I had a tough childhood that has led me onto this path and I can't help it. It is a big issue because many people like to drink so I am severely limited in my options.
Another issue that really shows how opposite we are in our life styles is that I love to workout and he mainly likes to just slack and having excess amounts of junk food. It means that lots of fat is gained and other unhealthy conditions have a big chance of striking. I just wouldn't be able to live with somebody who never ever workout and by workout I mean being active at least once a week for minimum one hour - I don't care what it is, be it jogging, skipping, BODYCOMBAT, BODYPUMP, weight training, a sport, treadmill, dancing or whatever! It's just how I am...
He has chosen his life style, I have chosen mine. We all have different goals, demands, priorities, whatnot in life. You just have to find someone with similar goals and style. Believe me, I don't want to leave him because he is so sweet and loving and it hurts me so much that the situation is like it is. Here comes the tears again...
Fuck life!!
Saturday 22 December 2007
Can we do this?
Good grief! Life is hard when it is complicated! I am completely torn between two things and it reduces me to confusion, sadness... I do not know what I should do. Part of me wants one thing, another part wants the other. I think the bigger part of me wants what would be the wisest choice but as soon as I start thinking of the negatives, it pushes away the positives at least for a while. It is not fair of me to even be in this situation when I deep inside know that I should just go for it!
But if I went for it and then planned ahead, then I think the issue at work would still be there and I would be both annoyed (due to one thing of the problem) and embarrassed, sad, I am not sure how to put it... And what I am asking for to solve this issue is not the nicest of things but it is for the better not only for me, it's just that it is a question of common sense or how to put it... Let us just say it is something you should NOT ask for.
I must send a big "thank you"-hug to Emelie who has been really supportive in this matter. Thank you! <3
But if I went for it and then planned ahead, then I think the issue at work would still be there and I would be both annoyed (due to one thing of the problem) and embarrassed, sad, I am not sure how to put it... And what I am asking for to solve this issue is not the nicest of things but it is for the better not only for me, it's just that it is a question of common sense or how to put it... Let us just say it is something you should NOT ask for.
I must send a big "thank you"-hug to Emelie who has been really supportive in this matter. Thank you! <3
Wednesday 19 December 2007
Wiser
Oh, I just remembered... I have forgotten to give you an update on the sweets issues. As a matter of fact, I have reduced the amount of sugar and unnecessary candy going into my belly by a huge amount so now I guess my stomach is a bit happier. To be honest, eating a juicy pear is much more satisfying than having a chocolate bar. And salted, roasted soybeans are also totally awesome instead of buying snacks. The amount of fat gained is much less and more nutrition is gained and I do not want to get fat (I'm perfectly happy with my weight) and it is better for my body, ESPECIALLY considering I work-out a lot so my body needs more of that healthier stuff.
Also keeping McDonald's and pizza amounts low, a set rule: once or twice a month, if at all. The only times I have junk food is when I'm out shopping and since that does not happen all too frequently I do not think I have to worry about getting large amounts of junk food into me belly! I prefer chicken, rice and curry sauce = me happy boy. Some vegetables to that and I'll be preening. When I think about it, taking the time to cook something nice is more satisfactory because it tastes a lot better, it is healthier and it feels a lot better afterwards! I should become a cook, don't ya think?
I used to be the guy who sat in front of the computer all days long (I still do to a certain extent though :P) buying sweets and junk food almost everyday, never working out and it resulted in a not so attractive body, lots of spots, DEPRESSION... Once I started working out and had better food, my body toned to a nice shape, I lost some weight and I felt SO MUCH HAPPIER!
Everyone should heed my advice: Forget junk food, start working out (I don't mean it has to be hardcore, go out and jog two or three times a week for an hour or so each time is sufficient enough) and take the time to cook your own food with plenty of vegetables and nutrition, eat fruit instead of sweets... The results? You will feel MUCH better, lose weight, get a happier stomach and your skin will look better! In the beginning it will feel annoying to have to take the time to cook your food everyday, but once you get into the rhythm (takes maybe 2 weeks, the first 2 weeks is all about heart and devotion) you wouldn't want anything else!
.... And maybe you will join me in BODYCOMBAT! :P
Also keeping McDonald's and pizza amounts low, a set rule: once or twice a month, if at all. The only times I have junk food is when I'm out shopping and since that does not happen all too frequently I do not think I have to worry about getting large amounts of junk food into me belly! I prefer chicken, rice and curry sauce = me happy boy. Some vegetables to that and I'll be preening. When I think about it, taking the time to cook something nice is more satisfactory because it tastes a lot better, it is healthier and it feels a lot better afterwards! I should become a cook, don't ya think?
I used to be the guy who sat in front of the computer all days long (I still do to a certain extent though :P) buying sweets and junk food almost everyday, never working out and it resulted in a not so attractive body, lots of spots, DEPRESSION... Once I started working out and had better food, my body toned to a nice shape, I lost some weight and I felt SO MUCH HAPPIER!
Everyone should heed my advice: Forget junk food, start working out (I don't mean it has to be hardcore, go out and jog two or three times a week for an hour or so each time is sufficient enough) and take the time to cook your own food with plenty of vegetables and nutrition, eat fruit instead of sweets... The results? You will feel MUCH better, lose weight, get a happier stomach and your skin will look better! In the beginning it will feel annoying to have to take the time to cook your food everyday, but once you get into the rhythm (takes maybe 2 weeks, the first 2 weeks is all about heart and devotion) you wouldn't want anything else!
.... And maybe you will join me in BODYCOMBAT! :P
Wednesday 12 December 2007
Party people
So Clubland X-treme Hardcore 4 has been out for a while and my, my what an excellent compilation it is! The previous installment in the series was really bad (except for a few songs) while the two first were freaking awesome and the latest one really is on-par with the them. Volume three was just really weird - it had uninspiring and bland sounds, it wasn't catchy at all. While CXH4 still has SOME of those boring tunes it still has ten times more top choons - the moment I heard Paradise & Dreams by Ultrabeat vs Darren Styles I was HOOKED! It may sound a tiny, wee bit boybandish in the lyrics and vocals but I love it to bits. I adore the lyrics, the vocals and the lead (or melody as some would say)... Excellent and hugely uplifting track!! Shortly after comes Wii Go Crazy by Dougal & Gammer and that tune is BRILLIANT because it samples a 8-bits melody (think 8-bits Nintendo console) and being a fan of such blippy noise I fell in love at once!
Breeze's CD is great, too, especially You & Me (Breeze Mix) by SHM and even though I hate to admit it (since I'm usually not a fan of electronic remakes of old classics), the remake of Bryan Adam's ol' Heaven is bloody great too! But Breeze's mix is a victim of the bad sound of CXH3 thanks to a couple of tracks, a good example being Save The Rave (by Re-Con) - incredibly tedious and horrible track. What is up with Re-Con lately? I used to love his tracks but the last two years he's just been churning out absolutely crap tunes (with the odd exception)... I don't know what he is trying to achieve.
Hixxy's CD is disappointing, only a few good songs on there. Also getting a lot of CXH3 vibes from this CD. Perfect World by Hixxy is saved by the amazing vocals and lyrics, if not for them I would never listen to it. The song works just because I want to hear those vocals, I don't like the lead so much. And then they have butchered Love Comes by throwing out a so called "Version 1.1" of it. The original track is fucking awesome, ESPECIALLY the distorted kick-drum part, but I can't listen to Version 1.1. They even removed the distorted part. Bleh. Just bleh. Well, at least I can still listen to the old version if I want to and I will!
I have also noticed that acoustic and electric guitars have been used frequently in the new tracks of CXH4. What's up with that? Not complaining, I love most of those tracks, but how come? Rock UK Hardcore. :P
Anyhow; weeee for CXH4!
Breeze's CD is great, too, especially You & Me (Breeze Mix) by SHM and even though I hate to admit it (since I'm usually not a fan of electronic remakes of old classics), the remake of Bryan Adam's ol' Heaven is bloody great too! But Breeze's mix is a victim of the bad sound of CXH3 thanks to a couple of tracks, a good example being Save The Rave (by Re-Con) - incredibly tedious and horrible track. What is up with Re-Con lately? I used to love his tracks but the last two years he's just been churning out absolutely crap tunes (with the odd exception)... I don't know what he is trying to achieve.
Hixxy's CD is disappointing, only a few good songs on there. Also getting a lot of CXH3 vibes from this CD. Perfect World by Hixxy is saved by the amazing vocals and lyrics, if not for them I would never listen to it. The song works just because I want to hear those vocals, I don't like the lead so much. And then they have butchered Love Comes by throwing out a so called "Version 1.1" of it. The original track is fucking awesome, ESPECIALLY the distorted kick-drum part, but I can't listen to Version 1.1. They even removed the distorted part. Bleh. Just bleh. Well, at least I can still listen to the old version if I want to and I will!
I have also noticed that acoustic and electric guitars have been used frequently in the new tracks of CXH4. What's up with that? Not complaining, I love most of those tracks, but how come? Rock UK Hardcore. :P
Anyhow; weeee for CXH4!
Monday 10 December 2007
Technicolor rainbow kiss
Oh I wish it were the 15th. That's when I'll meet my prince charming! I will be so bloody nervous on the way there, christ... But he will be nervous, too. I guess we will have to be on the phone when the train arrives at the station, maybe that will lessen the nervousness? Anyway think we are gonna try that.
Aaah, it will be so awesome, I bet! He is gonna get so many hugs that he'll be catching for breath! Haha!
Come December 15th!
Aaah, it will be so awesome, I bet! He is gonna get so many hugs that he'll be catching for breath! Haha!
Come December 15th!
Sunday 9 December 2007
Thursday 6 December 2007
Bullet in the gun
Bang, you're dead!
What do all these teenagers that go around killing people hope to achieve? Fine, they are angry, they hate the world but what gives them the right to take other peoples' lives just because they don't like humanity? They are so fucked up in their brains, I wonder what their parents are like. What, mom was a prostitute and dad is a fat, horny truck driver whose dick is too small for a condom? They must have some serious issues if they can't raise their kids to not become a victim of misanthropy. If they feel they cannot handle raising a kid then they should put it up for adoption before it gets too old! I know it must be EXTREMELY hard to make that decision but it's for the greater good, you might save human lives. Who wouldn't want to be a hero?
These angry teenagers are just pathetic. What have all those innocent people done to you!? People don't wanna be friends with you? Oh, I wonder why that is... ... ... Geez, maybe because you are a crazed, self-loathing drug addict? It would be unfair to totally bash only the teenagers for who they are, like I said I suspect their parents play a major role in who they are. Sometimes wrong people decide to get kids, but what can you do about it other than pray they are so aware that if they feel they can't handle it, they put it up for adoption?
No matter what, they have no reason to kill other people. Suicide, okay if that makes you feel better, but not other people, you sons of bitches.
(Woah, punchy finale!)
What do all these teenagers that go around killing people hope to achieve? Fine, they are angry, they hate the world but what gives them the right to take other peoples' lives just because they don't like humanity? They are so fucked up in their brains, I wonder what their parents are like. What, mom was a prostitute and dad is a fat, horny truck driver whose dick is too small for a condom? They must have some serious issues if they can't raise their kids to not become a victim of misanthropy. If they feel they cannot handle raising a kid then they should put it up for adoption before it gets too old! I know it must be EXTREMELY hard to make that decision but it's for the greater good, you might save human lives. Who wouldn't want to be a hero?
These angry teenagers are just pathetic. What have all those innocent people done to you!? People don't wanna be friends with you? Oh, I wonder why that is... ... ... Geez, maybe because you are a crazed, self-loathing drug addict? It would be unfair to totally bash only the teenagers for who they are, like I said I suspect their parents play a major role in who they are. Sometimes wrong people decide to get kids, but what can you do about it other than pray they are so aware that if they feel they can't handle it, they put it up for adoption?
No matter what, they have no reason to kill other people. Suicide, okay if that makes you feel better, but not other people, you sons of bitches.
(Woah, punchy finale!)
Tuesday 4 December 2007
Talk dirty to me
Oh my gooood, I said the funniest thing (so far) while teaching today! We were doing Paradise City from BC30 and it has several squats, and the last of them are done in the bottom (called "the basement") and in this particular track they're only six. Six in Swedish is "sex" (and yes, it also means the English 'sex') so when I was gonna tell them to do six of them in the basement... I said, translated, "Sex in the basement!" ("Sex i källaren" in Swedish) and man, I quickly realized what I had said when they giggled at me. I burst out laughing and just "Oh man, how did that sound!?" and I was laughing so hard I couldn't teach the slow push-ups after the squats... haha... But I managed to get through the track fine after that but I was still laughing for myself during the rest of the track and a bit of the cooldown. :D Luckily, they were laughing too!
Sunday 2 December 2007
You make me happy
Oooh... I'm feeling so incredibly good lately, much due to one person and he knows who he is! My little sugarpuff! :D
I will soon get to meet him! It feels like an eternity, does anybody have a time-machine?
I will soon get to meet him! It feels like an eternity, does anybody have a time-machine?
Music to my ears
Lookie, lookie. I have gotten myself a "Top Five Weekly Tracks"-list from last.fm! There you can see how I obsess over certain songs, haha... Enjoy. :P
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