Thursday 29 November 2007

Shock to the system

I wonder why there are so few people attending the classes I teach. It could be because I mix too many tracks, but I have said to them to tell me if they don't like it and so far I have only heard positive things. But me mixing tracks cannot be so bad, can it? I always mix the same tracks and I've switched one track at a time (some week I switched two) so they really get a chance to learn the tracks. For example, I have taught Hymn and We Rock for almost 7 weeks now and that's more time than I taught Girlfriend and Run To The Hills. I've still got 3 BC33 tracks in my mix, spread out so they got a chance to coast alternatively give it their all.

It cannot be because I have bad technique, cause I know I don't and the assessment only pointed out small little things, and I have heard numerous times that people think I have a Martial Arts background (which is flattering, considering I do not have one).

I know my choreography inside-out, 110%, and I pre-cue and make it easy for them to follow (and the assessment said this too). So that cannot be the problem either.

Could it be that they do not like my teaching style? I am a bit humorous, self-aware and think I have a really good mix of serious technical cues and fun. I am reminding them of the correct technique many, many times and I show them, too. I vary my teaching with both verbal and visual cues to only visual or only verbal cues.
I do tend to say weird things sometimes but I doubt people would stop coming because I, for example, sometimes say "heel" instead of "elbow".

Maybe it is because I might sound a bit patronizing when I speak (my friends tell me I sound different when I teach)? I have no idea, but I do not think that is the case either because then somebody would have told me, I think. If I do, then I really do not mean to.

I also try to make as much individual contact as possible and when I do, I get smiles back and sometimes they shout! I also correct them individually from time to time, so they shouldn't feel forgotten.

I really cannot put my finger on exactly what is wrong.

Tuesdays are going great and it is Annica's class. She always has over 15 people attending however when I covered her class two days ago there were only 9, 7 of them were regulars, rest were totally new. My Thursdays started out great with 25 - 30 people but after three weeks, the numbers gradually sank lower and lower and then I was down to 7 - 11 people per week. Then came Halloween and I suddenly got 20 people in my class and the class after had 16 people so I thought that I had done it, I had gotten more people to my class. But they kept on sinking. Last week we were 8 I think and today.... NOBODY IS BOOKED! 5 hours left to the class and NOBODY is booked. Wow. That's a huge blow to take. And all the other classes on Thursdays always have over 10 people attending, including today except today I have zero and the rest of the classes have many (I think the one with the least has 12).

It is really depressing. I am trying so hard to be a good instructor and yet, I only feel like I fail. It confuses me that Annica has told me she thinks I am great and she was REALLY enthusiastic about it, I doubt she lied (she filmed the class that was assessed), the GFM at Sportlife said so too and I got my license but yet, it feels like people don't like me... :(

A&E

It's a bluuue, bright blue Saturday-hey-hey
And the pain's starting to slip away-hey-hey

I'm in a dancing mood and I also feel like singing! Anybody feel like joining in?

Monday 26 November 2007

Mein herz brennt

What is going!? Why are there suddenly so many fires around the globe? Earlier this year, there were tons of fires in Greece. Then there was a big fire in California. Just recently there was yet another fire roaming in California. As if those fires weren't enough, there are countless other fires in Sweden. Just the past few weeks; A school in Gothenburg, a building in BorĂ¥s, another building in Landskrona, a store near where I live (I actually went past it when I was on the bus to Uddevalla, there were tons of firemen and firetrucks there, from four different firestations) and tons of other fires. Is it due to people suddenly getting careless or is it due to something else, like a warmer climate? Could it be due to people feeling like ruining for other people, too?

I suppose fires aren't a new trend, but they sure get a lot of attention lately. It's quite scary... Imagine all of your belongings burning down - all the memories (photos, gifts, etc), all your personal stuff and last but not least - your home! I don't think it would have been easy to handle...

Saturday 24 November 2007

Seventh tree

Oh, I downloaded the leaked version of the new Goldfrapp album. I'm liking a few of the songs but it sounds really different, but I guess it is because they're not quite mastered yet (the album is scheduled for release in FEBRUARY, so it's quite strange how it has leaked already...). My favourite so far is Road To Somewhere... or Little Bird.

The songs sound so acoustic. I really hope they will get a bit more electric feel to them once they're mastered. Goldfrapp is about electronica in some form or another. Sexy, mellow or deep, melancholy electronica!

Some people

The writers' strike in USA is really annoying! Heroes is finally picking up again and the last three episodes have been AWESOME, the last one being one of the best ever, and now there will only be a total of two more episodes this season unless a miracle happens! Even though Family Guy's current season is finished writing, Seth (Creator) refuses to produce more episodes until the strike is over, to support the writers. Lost is quite safe, though, luckily!

Why can't they just pay the hard-working writers more and get on with the writing and production!? It's not like they don't have the money to raise their salaries... Sigh.

Wednesday 21 November 2007

Takin' over me

I feel like bursting into a dance or something. Last few days have been so great! I feel like I have been on speed or ecstasy all days long (not that I have ever used drugs but I suppose this is what I would be like with those injected into me)! And everything came as such a surprise, too! I and Emelie are both having a great week, aren't we? Haha....... :D

One of the instructors at the gym I work-out at (not the one I instruct at) called me and said she and the other male instructor would come to my BODYCOMBAT-class tomorrow!!! That was just like the icing on the cake, I went through the roof! It's gonna be so fun, I'm so happy!

This is too much happiness happening! I fear I might burst soon! Muhahaha.... :D
I wish you could tell me that you'll always be around
And I wish that together we could seize the day!


Tuesday 20 November 2007

Takin' me higher

Could it be...? (Open for interpretation)

I have been in an awesome mood today (guess why)! I have driven people nuts because I have been so hyperactive and talked, talked and talked and done so many crazy things. I wonder if people TRULY think I am annoying when I get like that. I never mean any harm or mean to be annoying, I am just having fun and being in a wicked mood. Whether or not people like it is another story.

But I suppose that this will soon come to an end. Just my luck, like I have said a thousand times before, but I know how things turn out for me... Always the same.

Anyway, I will soon get my assessment from Les Mills regarding my video! I hope they can overlook a couple of things and that they will let me pass and give me my license! I deserve it so fork it over! Haha...


Sunday 18 November 2007

Something inside so strong

Woohoo. It's been 8 days since I've had any sweets or chocolate! I'm just too good! The only junk I've had is two chocolate donuts and two "kexchoklad" (what is that in English, anyway? Chocolate biscuit? But that doesn't sound right...) spread out during the 8 days.

Mission accomplished so far.

But tonight, I'm gonna go buy a little something. :-) But that's okay, I've still got 1 "bigger amount of candy"-day left and this week I ain't gonna use them both!

Saturday 17 November 2007

Another one bites the dust!

Haha, today, another participant walked up to me and said she nearly threw up cause it was so hard!!! I must have chosen a sickly hard mix, hahaha.... I wonder if I should be proud or if I might have too hard songs? :D I did:

01. Stuck On You (23)
02. Everybody's Screaming!!! (33)
03. Come With Me (28)
04. Push It Again (28)
05. Hymn (28)
06. Behind The Cow (33)
07. We Rock (31)
08. U R My Phantasy (33)
09. Paradise City (30)
10. Vienna (33)

I know for a fact that tracks 3 - 5 of 28 are really, really hard, at least when I do them.

Dream to me

Oh, I want this to turn out good! Please, please, please!

Friday 16 November 2007

I will be

Lately... Something has happened. I don't wanna go into details too early or before I know everything, but it feels great and I hope I'm lucky this time! But knowing my usual luck, it won't turn out positively so I guess it'll be hello to square one again soon... I'm holding my breath!

Thursday 15 November 2007

The roof is on fire!


Instructing BODYCOMBAT at Sportlife is so INCREDIBLY fun. The regulars are so damned uplifting - they're always smiling, listening to cues and corrects themselves, they shout out loud and they put power in their moves! It makes me so happy! As I sat on the bus on my way home today, I suddenly got a huge smile on my face while thinking back of the class - they told me they had a great time and one of them walked up to me and said she was absolutely smashed, that she almost threw up during class! Do you know how awesome it is to hear this from your participants!? It makes you feel special, that you really make your participants work hard and have fun and it is extremely encouraging! When you hear responses during class like everybody screaming "yes!!!", smiling or chuckling or the occasional "huah!" it really makes the hour magical! And them panting after hard tracks, catching their breaths, is a small little detail that sends the signal that they got what they came for - hard work! It's so amazing!

I've also taught a couple of special classes for a group of girls the last month. That, however, is not fun. I don't mean to be rude or mean but they don't listen to my cues, they don't make any noise, they talk to each other mid-track, sometimes they're just fooling around making fun of stuff and they don't add any power. It's really discouraging. And last time one of them even said to me: "Hey, can't we do 30 mins of Combat and then let us go down to the gym?". That was just plain rude.
It was EXTREMELY discouraging to hear and it was 10 minutes before the class had started. I lost all my motivation to put all my energy in the teaching when I taught the last class for them... I tried but it just didn't click, I just wanted to get through it. Not to single her out but she's also one of the worst ones - that don't add power, sighs during tracks and plays around and hardly listens to cues. Luckily, I don't have to teach any of those classes again for a long while.

But I have my Thursday class and the occasional Saturday class that makes me love teaching even more for each time! A big thanks and hug to those people, should they ever read this (they won't but... :P)!

:)

Wednesday 14 November 2007

Ice

Hahaha... It's so slippery outside now, with the snow and all, and people slide around like they were ice skating and it is so hard not to laugh. Today, while I was walking home from the barbershop, I saw a guy on a bike passing me when I heard a thud and when I looked behind me he lies on the ground with the bike over him. I quickly turned my head forward and tried to avoid laughing, I did all sorts of crazy things like pretend I was picking my lips but I couldn't help but have this HUGE grin on my face because I didn't want to burst out laughing. I just kept walking.

Then, when I'm almost home, I see an elderly man walking in front of me and he slides forward half a meter all of a sudden... Had to avoid bursting into laughter there too! :D

I have had my fair share of sliding, too. Haha. It's hilarious, really.

Sunday 11 November 2007

Worlds apart

I'm telling the truth now: I think I am getting over Jonathan. At least that is what my mind has decided and whether my heart wants to follow or not is another story (pardon the poetic vibes). And I think I am getting on his nerves now, so as I am still sane and know it ain't ever gonna lead anywhere I am going to have to draw a line. There are other people out there. Just gotta find them. It would be the best for us both - at least the best for me, doubt he really cares.

Coming to think of it, I don't see how we could ever lead a life together anyway in terms of personality, humour and et cetera. He doesn't share my somewhat low, dry, perversive and mean humor and whenever we talk it is like one really has to sit and think for an hour about what to talk about - it doesn't come naturally, like with most other people. I don't think we've ever small-talked and I can do that with everybody else... except him; except the one that really is quite similar to me. I'm not gonna get into extreme detail here but there are lots of funny trivia. For example, I share the name of one of his brothers. I've always liked the name Jonathan and in first grade of high school we wrote an essay about names (this was before I "noticed" him) and I wrote that if I were to choose a different name for myself I'd pick Jonathan and one of my kids would be named as another of his brothers. If my little sister had been a boy instead, she (or would that be he?) would be called Jonathan. Nice coincidences? And we're both left-handed. :P Lots of that trivial stuff to be known.

I am gonna have to put all that to rest but there is no denying there are many interesting coincidences between us. There is no point in ever hoping there could be something because he has made it quite clear. I am not going to deny that he looks very, very good though, so that is something he will always hear (unless he does something drastic). Haha...

I wonder if I truly let him go out of my heart (excuse the poeticism (new word) again) will our conversations loosen up? Or are we just really not meant to be talking much? Or is it just because I'm so outrageously weird to talk to? I wish I could help the fact that I must explain things to people in detail or that I talk a lot or that I have this random humour. Sometimes it is like talking to one of my walls while talking to him, or should I say he seems bored of me, and that is never a good sign. Should I take the hint and shut the fuck up next time? Next time I will talk to myself instead... At least then I will get an answer and one that I like, too.

Dog new tricks

Okay. I really need to get out of this awfully bad habit of mine. I need to stop eating so much junk! I eat chocolate and candy in massive amounts almost everyday now. It's not good for my teeth and my body (although I don't become fat even though I should considering the amounts) and it's certainly not good for my wallet.

I know all the promises people make but I'm gonna make it. No candy or chocolate more than twice a week. And in moderate amounts.

I'm gonna write here everytime I eat that junk and if it exceeds twice a week then I'm gonna punish myself by listening to Mika.

Starting from now.

(I'm actually confident I'll make it, it shouldn't be that hard.)

Saturday 10 November 2007

Touch the sky


Oh, I've gotten tons of compliments from the GFM and the other BC-instructor at Sportlife! It makes me so happy! The GFM has assessed me and said I was great and that there was not much to work on. Like: I needed to work more on keeping my guard up (sometimes it drops and the roundhouse-guard is a bit lame sometimes :P) and vary my vocabulary a bit more.

I filmed again last class and the other instructor was there to film for me and afterwards she said something like: "Fantastic class! You have really improved since the beginning! I can't think of anything you need to work on, perhaps your guard and so but it's nothing really important!". I was shining when she said that and it made my entire evening, I was in such good spirits! And she's a good friend of one of the Swedish trainers (my trainer, in fact) too, and has been doing her classes for a couple of years so I think she knows what a fantastic class is.

/Brag off. Enjoy the funny picture. :P

Tuesday 6 November 2007

Bom bom suenan

Okay, I just taught the weirdest BODYCOMBAT class ever. I had planned to do a favourite tracks-mix and the warm-up I had chosen was the one from BC27. So when I put the CD in the player, it turns out it won't play that particular track. Great. So I decide to do the warm-up from BC25 instead. So we start and I am off-beat tons of times and it feels awkward. Guess what happens next. The damn player fucks up and only the bass is heard. The mic died too. In the middle of the lower body warm-up! So we restart the player and it works again so I fast-forward to where we were.

Then track 2 starts. After 30 seconds it dies again. Grrr. So we think it's because the CD was burnt and I try switching CDs to the only "real" CD I have - BC32, where track 2 is School's Out. I demo the most complicated move and start the track. It all goes fine for the first minute and then it dies again. God damn it! We give up and one of them (one of the two GFMs (Group Fitness Manager)) goes to the nearby room to pick up a stereo and plugs it in and it works! But I have to teach the entire class bar the warm-up and man, my voice died more and more after each track... After the class, I had severe difficulties speaking properly and I pray that my voice is working fine on Thursday, the day I have my next class.

I do not recommend teaching a class without a mic. Ouchie.

I'm the "fuck you"-man

I hate people who love to share their music in public places. It's on-par with the annoyance of little whiny, bitchy 3-years old kids. Whatever happened to respect? I don't want to hear their crappy emo or rap music bursting out of their oh-so-expensive cellphones especially not if I'm listening to music myself, in my HEADPHONES! You heard it! Headphones! It means I do not disturb anyone and I pay respect to my fellow species who might not want to be bothered by my hardcore or metal music. I wish teenyboppers, immigrants and emos would share the same common sense but apparently they do not. I also wish whiny kids to be banned from ever setting foot on a bus or train. They're so annoying! Wuaaah, wuuaaaah and they don't give up, those mischievous bastards! Ban them, I say, and anybody who dares to play their music loud in such places are worthy of a kick to the groin!

It's painful enough to look at an emo, that god awful hair and those clothes are sore to the eye so why torture me more by forcing me to hear My Chemical Romance or Taking Back Sunday too!? Those kids are gonna look back at themselves five years from now and they're gonna wonder why the fuck they dressed and looked like they do now. Hopefully then, they'll gain the common sense, too.


Thursday 1 November 2007

Tough love

I seriously wonder why the hell unrequited love was invented. There is no logic behind it unless torture counts. Sure, in a sense it's fun to have a crush on somebody especially in the beginning. However, when it continues on for over 1½ year it becomes tedious, bothersome and fucking painful. If I had had a choice I would never have fallen in love with Jonathan. In fact, I would never have fallen in love with anybody because so far I've only had crushes (I'll call all those other crushes because they were never as deep as this one) on several people and they've all been straight... except for Kjell, but things got fucked up and it never led anywhere and now he is not interested anymore. I guess it's the story of my life.

I just want to forget about Jonathan! I want to see him only as my friend, I don't want to have feelings for him. Why is it that my body keeps insisting on being in love with him? It's fucking ridiculous!