Heh, it feels a bit better about Jonathan now, actually. We talked a bit about it and it was really needed, I tell you. I got to explain things, he really made it clear there's a snowball's chance in hell that it would ever lead anywhere beyond 'friends'. I think I really needed to hear it directly from him instead of just having these assumptions. I was terrified that I had ruined our friendship and I was so ashamed of myself. I was really, really ashamed because of how he felt about me writing those things about him. I felt like a dog that had done something inappropriate.
Anyway, he said it was fine and that I hadn't ruined the friendship. It made me feel better. In fact, I think the very much needed confirmation that it won't lead anywhere has finally made every part of me realize that it is actually true and it's time to let it go now. I'm working on it... But it's probably gonna take some time.
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